Forgive You Anything
by sienna27
Summary: Memories Universe. Story 3 of 3. Established caryl romance. Picking up in Season 4 about a week after the events of "The Memories of Us." Daryl finds out Carol's been banished from the prison. Things go very differently from canon.


**Author's Note** : The third story in what I'm calling (for lack of a better name) the Memories' Universe. It started with "Take My Hand," then it went to "The Memories of Us." It is HIGHLY suggested that you start at the beginning with those stories, to understand the relationship dynamics here.

To this, season 4, a few days after our last story ended. Again we're using canon very loosely, and also playing with the timing of events. We're putting in a gap day between Daryl's return with the medicine, and the Governor's attack. More at the end there. And we're walking into a scene here. Rick has just told Daryl that he sent Carol away. The banishment went exactly the same as in canon (hence no rehash here) and a reminder for canon, we didn't hear everything Rick said to Daryl. We walked into the scene with them (which gave me the idea to do that here too) and only got D's reaction. The reaction was not good. And his reaction here, in THIS world, where he and Carol are an established couple, is much worse.

Also, for purposes of who was where when this moment happens, just go with the variation on how I did things here. Given how in canon Hershel was out and moving around the prison grounds when Daryl returned, I felt like by the time Rick and Daryl spoke, any of these characters could have been close by their cellblock.

* * *

 **Seeing Red**

"You did _WHAT_ now?!"

Daryl's question came out in a sputter in disbelief as he felt the blood start to drain from his face. It kind of felt like he was gonna pass out. And the sense that his entire world had just collapsed in on itself, was reinforced by the set of Rick's jaw when he repeated those horrible words he'd just said a moment ago.

"I sent her away," he said it again, that time with a tip of his head, "and I wish it hadn't come to that, I'm sorry, but she left me no choice. I mean Christ, Daryl," his tone started to get more agitated then, "she _killed_ two of our own and she wasn't even SORRY about it!" He scowled, "I couldn't have her living here anymore. And not just because what of Tyreese would have done to her when he found out, but knowing what she did, how could ANY of us ever trust her again? I damn sure wouldn't let her near the kids."

At that point, all Daryl was starting to hear was a faint buzzing around his temple. It was growing louder and louder as the reality of what had happened was washing over him. At first all he could feel was a panic clawing up that Carol was gone, but that was followed right after by a straight up RAGE! And that rage was directed at the man in front of him. The one who had sent his girl away.

Sent her off to die.

"Where," he sucked in a shallow breath, "did you leave her?"

The words came out like he was choking on ground glass. And there must have been something in his tone, or maybe the look on his face . . . he felt like committing a murder . . . that Rick didn't like, because he immediately straightened up, and took a half step back. Then he clenched his fists.

"I didn't just _leave_ her," his tone was much tighter, and more defensive now, "I gave her a car with a full tank of gas, and enough food to last her close to a week if she's careful with it. And she had her gun and her knife. She's tough. She'll be fine."

That time Daryl had to look down and start counting, or he would have sworn before God that he was gonna rip Rick's throat out. When he was able to speak again, that's when he took another tight breath.

He kept his eyes locked down on the dirty floor of the catwalk.

"You tell me where you saw her last," his fists clenched, "what she was driving, and which direction she was heading. If you say _anything_ else," his eyes snapped up, and his tone dropped dangerously low, "if you waste another SECOND of my time on your pissant excuses for what you did to my girl, so help me God Rick, I will break your jaw."

Rick blinked once, and then one more time. His eyes were wide like saucers and his nostrils were flaring. It was clear that he was pissed, and that he had some shit he wanted to say back, but he at least seemed to get that Daryl was NOT fucking screwing around with that threat of breaking his jaw if he did. Because instead of spitting out whatever bullshit was on the tip of his tongue, he took a deep breath, and when he let out . . . he pointed east.

"The last time I _saw_ her," his voice was hard with anger, though much quieter now, "she was in a silver Taurus, and we were in the Morningdale Estates. It's that neighborhood five or six miles to the east. You hit a supermarket over there a couple times last spring. She left before me, and there was only one road in there, Bedford Way, but that was a good sixteen hours ago, so she could have turned off anywhere by now."

It was all Daryl needed to start the search, so he spun around to go, but before he'd even taken a step, Rick had clamped his hand down on his arm.

"Daryl, would you just WAIT a Goddamn minute and think about what you're doing!?"

Rick had barely gotten the words out of his mouth, before Daryl spun back and socked him across the jaw. He actually hit him so hard, that not only did Rick let him go, but he stumbled backwards into the wall with a grunt. And when he started yelling, "JESUS CHRIST, DARYL! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" blood drops were flying out of his mouth.

Must have loosened a tooth.

But none of that mattered. Not today. Not anymore.

It felt like he was looking at a stranger.

"FUCK YOU, MAN!" He spit back, half on the verge of tears as all the rage and hurt he was feeling came pouring out, "AND FUCK YOUR EXCUSES YOU SPINELESS PIECE OF SHIT! I KNEW WHAT SHE'D DONE, SHE'D TOLD ME! AND I COULD HAVE HANDLED TYREESE! YOU HAD NO RIGHT," he shoved his finger in Rick's face, "TO DO WHAT YOU DID! AND YOU GOD DAMN WELL **KNEW** THAT I WOULD NEVER LET YOU SEND HER OFF, SO YOU DID IT WHEN I WASN'T HERE TO STOP IT! I MEAN WHAT THE **FUCK** IS THAT?!"

Then he stopped and spun around, sucking in a ragged breath and scrubbing away the hot tears he could feel running down his face. Because he was so angry . . . and so terrified! And he'd never felt so betrayed. Because it was _this_ family, the one he'd formed in Atlanta, that had finally made him trust people, and he had loved Rick more even than he'd ever had loved his real brother. But now Rick had done this horrible thing. He'd left his girl out there to die alone. And he did it behind his back. And now he was acting like there was some kind of a CHOICE about what was gonna happen next!

Like he would EVER leave Carol out there alone!

So with Rick calling to him again, saying he was sorry for hurting him, and begging for him to understand, and then the rest of the family, the ones who weren't sick, being pulled in by the commotion, now running up the stairs, yelling and trying to find out what was happening, Daryl just stormed on. He pushed through the group and ran along the catwalk to the other end of the cellblock. Because too much time had already been lost. A day. Almost a whole fucking day.

Christ, she could be fifty miles off by now!

That was just when he skidded to a stop inside the cell that they'd shared together. And a quick glance around the tiny room showed him that Rick hadn't packed anything for her. That was clear as day when he yanked open the top drawer of the desk and saw Carol's little bag of pictures laying there. And seeing them left behind, Daryl was filled with another burst of grief and rage. Because those little photos that he'd taken for her last week, had been 'cuz she'd wanted to have something to remember the people she'd loved, after they were gone. Then she ended up being the one who was gone.

And that asshole didn't even let her take the pictures with her.

Knowing how sad she would be about that, it just broke his heart in a whole new way. This wasn't the time to be thinking on that stuff though. He just needed to get it together, and get on the road. So even though he could hear raised voices out and along the corridor . . . Rick trying to explain to the others what had happened, it didn't seem to be going well . . . Daryl just tuned them out so he could quickly pack up his and Carol's stuff.

It wasn't like there was much, but there was the bedroll, and they each did have a change of clothes. Beyond that, it was just the bag of pictures, Carol's favorite book that she'd read 'til the spine broke, and then finally the little bit of emergency food they kept in the bottom left drawer of the desk. That was two bottles of water, four stale granola bars, one can of kidney beans and one can of baby corn.

The last one was Carol's favorite vegetable.

And once all that stuff was packed up in his knapsack, he tucked in their spare .32 in the side pocket, along with the half box of personal ammo they kept separate from the main armory. Not like he wasn't planning on hitting the armory real quick on his way out the door though. Because fuck if they hadn't EARNED their right to those weapons just like everybody else who had cleared these cells out back then. Let Rick just try to stop him.

He really would break his fucking jaw.

But more on point, once he'd got everything he thought they'd need and or want, Daryl did a final spin on his heel to spot check the room. His eyes widened.

Damn it.

The notebook . . . he stepped forward and snatched it out from under the pillow . . . that's where they left their messages to each other. God knew they wouldn't be able to hold onto that pad of paper forever, but hell if today was gonna be the day they lost it. And as he shoved it down into the side pocket of the knapsack with his one pair of extra socks, his eyes bounced around the room a final time. The only thing left besides all the books he couldn't take, was the pretty Chinese vase on the corner of desk.

The one where they always kept a Cherokee rose.

The one in there now was wilting a bit, and if things hadn't happened the way they had, he probably would have gone out over the next week to go find Carol a fresh one. But with things as they were, and him needing all the luck he could get, half wilted or not, he plucked the rose out of the vase . . . snapped off the wet end . . . and gently placed the bud in on top of Carol's favorite book with the broken spine.

 _A Brief History of the Dead_

A world where people's spirits lived on, as long as someone was still alive to remember them. The basic plot of that book, was the closest thing his girl had to a faith now since God had left her that day on the farm. So basically that book was her bible. And again, 'cuz of Rick, she'd had to leave it behind.

Feeling another stab of rage at a man he'd thought of so long as a brother, Daryl took another ragged breath, and as he huffed it out, he threw the knapsack up over his shoulder. The bow went up right behind it.

Then he headed out.

Of course on the way, he had to plow through the family again. They were still all clustered together near the stairs, down by where he'd left Rick. By the time he reached them again, there was no more yelling from anybody, so he had to assume they all knew now what had happened with Carol and the bodies.

And what Rick had done to her because of it.

Everybody looked pretty distressed, but the only person who made a point of looking right at him as he stormed past, was Hershel. And because he had to balls to do it, Daryl did him one better.

He stopped to look the older man square in the eye.

"Just so y'all know the full truth," his words came out tight, and still laced up with hurt and anger, "I knew what she'd done. She'd told me that morning right after she'd done it when I found her crying sitting on the end of the bed. And we were gonna talk to the council first thing, but we didn't have time before Tyreese found the bodies and it all blew up. And if he'd known it was her that morning when he was raging, he would've tried to kill her, and then I would have had to kill him to stop it. So we decided to just let it ride until he'd had time to calm down. We figured after I'd got back with the medicine, and the sick folks were on the mend, we'd sit down with y'all," his voice crackled, "but we weren't given the chance to do that, 'cuz Rick did something else. So don't you listen to anything he says about her not being sorry about what happened, because he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. I can tell you," his eyes started to burn then, "what she did took something awful from her. And she only did it 'cuz she thought she could save more people by stopping the sickness with those two. She said they were already dying when she got there that morning, they had the death rattle in their lungs, and that's when she knew for sure it was the right thing to do. And no matter how things turned out now, I ain't even gonna say it wasn't the right thing. So if you ever gave a crap about me or her," he reached out and poked Hershel in the chest, "you make sure that's the full story everybody hears, because that's the real one Rick never bothered gettin' before he decided to play God himself."

And with that, and seeing Hershel's eyes were starting to water, Daryl blinked back his own tears, stepped over to press a quick kiss on the baby's forehead . . . he woulda liked to have seen her grow up . . . and continued on towards the stairs. Rick was calling to him again, telling him that it wasn't fair to put all this on him when Carol was the one that brought it on herself. And that he should think real careful about making choices now that he might regret later.

Daryl really could have stabbed him in the throat for that one.

Still, he just kept moving. And it wasn't until he got to the bottom of the steps, that he heard another voice.

Hershel again.

"Find her and bring her back, son. We'll work it out."

And he froze.

That's when Rick cut in again. That time with a low, "I don't _want_ her here, Hershel. I don't trust her."

"Well Rick," Hershel shot back with a hard glare, "to be quite honest, I don't trust _you_ very much right now."

The jolt of shock that Daryl felt then, was nothing compared to the look on Rick's face. But before Rick was able to say anything else though, Hershel continued on talking to him in a much darker tone.

"Boy, you had no authority to banish her. You gave up the right to make those choices on your own, when you agreed to the council. We decide things as a group now, and what you did was wrong by any measure." His jaw twitched. "You left her out there alone, and no matter how capable she is, you know as well any of us that nobody can survive alone. Banishment is a death sentence, which is exactly what you're accusing her of giving out, yet somehow here you are acting like you're on the high ground. Well," he shook his head, "you ain't. So," he looked around then at the others who were all staring at him as wide eyed as Daryl was, "if it's agreed with the few other council members here, Maggie and," he made a gesture down, "Daryl, I think Carol has more than earned herself a day in our court. She can explain what her thinking was for herself, and we'll go from there."

For a moment there was silence, and then Maggie nodded.

"Yeah," she cleared her throat, "I agree. And I think Glenn would say yes to that idea too. I mean, I'm not at all," she winced, " _okay_ , with what she did. Not even a little bit. But the Carol I know isn't a monster, so she must have had her reasons. And after all this time she deserves to be able explain why she felt like that was the right choice to make."

Then she shot Rick a hard look.

"And I also agree with my father," she added with a hefty note of genuine anger and real disappointment, "in that what you did to Carol is no different than what you're accusing her of doing to Karen and David. Banishment _is_ a death sentence, and it's a punishment that should only be handed down under a full council vote. _Especially_ for one of the family," she shook her head, "I really can't believe you did this, Rick."

Seeing Rick's jaw tighten and twist again . . . he clearly hadn't been expecting to get shit from anyone for what he'd done . . . gave Daryl kind of a sick sense of satisfaction. Still, he wasn't proud of it, and besides, had no time for gloating. Time was distance.

So time was the enemy.

"Okay, well," he spoke up before anybody else could start talking and slow him down even more, "I appreciate you two standing up for how things _shoulda_ been handled, but," he shook his head, "no matter what, we won't be coming back here."

He shot Rick a look . . . the other man was staring at him with wide eyes. His face was a mix of anger, that damn self-righteousness that got them all into this cluster, and then a lot of disbelief.

Almost like he couldn't believe this was all blowing up in his face.

"What you did is unforgivable," he said softly, making sure his words hit their mark, "you broke a trust, and if I'd ever done to Lori, what you did to Carol, you would have killed me dead."

"But Lori would NEVER have done what Carol did," Rick spit back, the emotion heavy in his voice, "no matter what her reasoning, she was wrong." But Daryl just slowly shook his head.

"Yeah," his jaw twitched, "you're still missing the point Rick. An arrogant son of a bitch is what you are, 'cuz you only see the right in your choices, but nobody else's. You just throw down the law and move on. And besides that," his hand shot up as he shoved his middle finger in Rick's general direction, "you can't even say Lori wouldn't have done the same in the same situation. 'Cuz none of us is who we used to be, and I was there with her at the beginning of this, long before you were. So I know you barely knew your wife back then, let alone the person she'd be now."

Though he knew the last one was a real cheap shot . . . one he never would've thrown at him before today . . . Rick had _earned_ that arrow, and all that pain and hurt Daryl could see on his face that had come with it. If only that could have made them even.

But it wasn't even fucking close.

So with that, he looked up and over to the others. Michonne, who seemed conflicted about the sides being taken. Carl, who was looking mighty upset and uncomfortable, which gave Daryl a sting of shame for the crack at Lori who he'd actually loved like a sister himself. Then Hershel and Maggie, both seeming to be all kinds of angry and frustrated. Finally there was Beth holding the baby. Judith was quiet . . . that child had grown used to loud voices . . . and Beth, she was crying. He just shook his head at that, before his attention snapped back on the old man.

He was really gonna miss him.

"And just so ya know now," he added on with a look, "I'm taking two rifles from the armory, and a couple of clips to go with 'em. Carol and I cleared more than enough walkers here to earn that much."

Seeing Hershel's slow nod, and the wince of pain that came with it, Daryl tipped his head in thanks . . . though it was also a goodbye. Then he took a breath and turned to take off at a run. The last thing he heard as he left the cellblock was Hershel calling out from above, "good luck!"

The words echoed behind him.

* * *

 _A/N 2: Long note, but some explanation on why I decided to rewrite this bit of canon._

 _So I feel like, and I don't think this is 'rose colored caryl glasses' that if the governor hadn't attacked when he had, that Daryl would have gone after Carol. The idea of him finding out she'd been dumped all alone, and just deciding, 'oh well, guess that's that for this person who I love and is more important to me than anyone else in the group,' is so dumb. By any take on their relationship, romantic, or simply BFF, by the end of season 2 they'd bonded closer than anyone else had outside of Glenn/Maggie (which says something by itself *eye roll*) and then by season 4 they were obviously very much each other's main person. You don't just shrug off losing your main person. It's not the same as season 7 where he's told she left on her own days earlier, and he has no clue at all where she could be (though he did end up tracking her down anyway:)) here, she's been BANISHED, he knew she would have been heartbroken over that, plus he had a vehicle and a last direction that Rick saw her heading towards. A hundred percent, he would have spent at least a couple days searching to see if he could find her trail. And if he didn't find it, I think if everything hadn't fallen apart with the attack, and they'd just continued on at the prison, Carol's banishment would have become a rift between him and Rick. There's no way it wouldn't have._

 _What's funny about writing this and having Daryl screaming all this stuff in Rick's face, is that I really like Rick! For me he's number two after C and D running neck and neck together, but this was a story arc that never made sense to start. Rick and Carol had been together for two years by then, he knew her as a person and how great her love and loyalty to the group was, as well as Daryl did. And Rick loved her himself, as part of his core family. They grieved TOGETHER over Lori in a way that he didn't allow himself to do with anyone else besides Carl. So he wouldn't have seen her committing two MERCY killings of people dying a horrible death they already knew could take you out in less than a day, (and this thing was about to spread throughout the prison) as 'oh well I THOUGHT I knew you, but I guess you're a sociopath now and I can't trust you around my kids.' The fuck even is that?! Like we were to believe that ANY part of him thought Carol was a genuine psycho and a danger to Judith or Carl. That's as insulting to his character as it is to hers. But, Gimple went down that road, and then Rick's ridiculous decision here (which became a canon we had to live with) was never 'realistically' addressed by the others. Which is why I did that here. Yes, with the collapse of the prison and losing Hershel especially, Rick got some comeuppance, and he was apologetic and 'deferential' to Carol when they were reunited, admitting maybe she'd known some things he hadn't and asking if they could join her. But it just bugged me that at the time, Daryl was the only one they even showed pushing back at what he'd done. I'd like to think there were some 'missing scenes' where he got that from the others too. At least some 'discomfort' at what he'd done. Because again, count them off: no right to make a unilateral decision to expel her, it was absolutely cowardly to do it when nobody was around to stop him, and the others (except maybe Sasha who hadn't known Carol as long, plus would have been more loyal/sympathetic to Tyreese) would absolutely let Carol explain herself before they'd ever made a choice so drastic as casting her out. She wasn't a Woodbury person, she was one of THEM. At the outset of 'hard choices' he could have tricked her out of the gates, then told her she needed to stay in that little neighborhood until he spoke to the council and they decided what to do. That, actually would have been the correct course of action. And she still could have easily decided to go off then on her own so the others wouldn't have had to make the choice to kick her out. At least that would have made some sense. And thinking about the whole thing in detail like this, makes my head hurt. There were always these other (fairly obvious) paths to take to get Carol psychologically where they wanted her to be going into season five. And so we're going to take one of those other paths now :)_

 _And even though this could be a long story to rewrite canon, I'm keeping a short focus to the events here to keep us from hitting a rambling path. I really like this Memories world, but I want to keep telling my version of things in these short stories where we pop in and out with them with just a few chapters covering an episode or two. So this won't be a long one, but it'll likely be a slow mover, which is what the other stories in this universe were. Basically something I update when my brain is being weird as it is now._

 _And I'll have an update on This Is Now over the next week, I think. Thanks all!_


End file.
